08/04/2004: "While we're on the topic of me asking for forgiveness"

I was talking to a friend who was telling me of a time when, for very good reasons, she was unable to be there for her sister in a time of need. Much later her sister told her how disappointed she was that she wasn't there in her time of need. My friend, not wanting to dismiss her sisters concerns, decided not to explain her good reasons for being unable to be available for her but instead just told her how sorry she was that she wasn't there for her.

The point of this entry is the sister's reaction. Instead of taking the apology as a sign of my friends honest and humble desire to be a good sister, she felt indignant. "What a horrible sister I have, she didn't even have an excuse for her actions!"

It occured to me just how much that incident reflects our 'modern' American culture. We actually don't care about forgiveness on average. We want answers. We want explanations. We'd much rather here, "I'm sorry but I have a very good reason." than "I'm sorry, will you forgive me." The first item of course means "I'm not really sorry. I feel justified in my actions." The second is the only one that truly reflects the humility and repentence that Christ calls us to. It is distressing to me that we, as a society, don't even understand what asking for forgiveness is, much less the values it reflects.